I want you to want me
Granted I kno I havent been the best friend to most people. There have been days where The Bitch just wants to come out and play. I'm not using that as an excuse (well nayB a lil). There are days where I just cant handle company. I work mad hours, and just want to be alone. MayB every once in a while I'll have Al come by. I just can't understand how people can go out EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. Or mayB just the weekend. I can almost understand if you're in college and whatnot, but adults in their mid twenties wanting to "party it up" every damn weekend. I just cant process all of that. MayB some people call me a loser because I stopped drinking. What a lot of people don't realize is that I did A LOT of bad horrible things while I was drunk. It lost it's "flavor" after a while. I started hating who I became when I was drunk. Then again, I didn't kno what I did most of the time when I was drunk. I hear all the "happenings" that are going on in Philly and whatnot. Granted I do think, "ya kno mayB I will go..." But then I think about what I have to do for the week and remember that I don't have the time or the energy to deal with hang overs.. nor do I have the extra loot for the drinks at the clubs. Honestly I truely enjoy a simple night of amovie and some people I care about... Then sleep.. or mayB a board game. That'a my idea of a great night. Good conversation.. Good food.. Good company. I know there are people who think I stopped drinking because of Al. Yes, in the beginning I wanted to do it to make him happy. But Al and I had a talk aboutit. He didn't want me to stop for him, I had to do it for me and only me. I thought about what was said.. at first I thought.. wow, he doesn't mind if I go out and get drunk, Best boyfriend ever. Then I thought about how I acted and how my actions affected myself and those around me. I would lose a lot of people if I stopped drinking, but I would people I cared about if I continued.. So I stopped. I dont regret my choice and I don't think I ever will.