talked to kris yesterday.... after a rather lang departure from her. anyways.. she reminded me of all the STUPID things that happened in the years psted, when i say stupid i mean amazing memories made forever.. DUDE... i duunno why we did all dat sheeet but it was done.. and nothing can change that. st least we had alla dat before our friendship ended. but now it's back and we can mek new memories.. altho this time i think for some odd reason children and weddings may be in them instead of stupid nights of pole dancing and drinking. btw i am so hapi with ur descision (sp?). i kno it's hard but i kno you can do it. all you gotta do now is help me with lil smoking issue.
anyways.. hmm.. what have my hourse days... weeks been filled with?? Ya mean other then work?? hmm.. Good question. Well things at work are still up in the air, but hopefully my chnces are good and i can have days with a lil less stress. I mean, yea, of course i'll complain about my job. But in all honesty, I don't kno where i would be if i didn't have that. I mean a lot has happened, let me rephrase that, a lot of GOOD has happened, i guess, because of that job. I dunno know where i would be right now if i didn't accept. Actually i kno whre i would be. I just wouldnt be hapi there. (woe is me... boohoohoo.. :p) Well.. hmm.. other then the job>???
Ever feel old?? like really super old? Yea, i'm ONLY 22 (in 30 days it'll be 23) but i see what the "younger people" are up to and i start to either remember what it was like to be their age or get all "adult-like" and go around saying how their lives are so simple and easy. But if you think aboutit, 1 there lives are just starting 2 my life really is a lot easier. I stopped caring about what people thought about me. I am who I am and no one's going to ever change that, unless i give them permission. I can go whereever whenever I want to, well to an extent. Just the other day I was lying on the floor thrown a ball at the wall thinking... I have a car, I'm 22, I can by drinks.. cigarettes.. almost anything I want.. but I'm lying here doing nothing watching the disney channel. Right now I'm thinking about it. I was relazed.. I wasnt worrying about a damn thing.. bills.. money.. work.. people I care about.. nothing like that was in my head. I hadn't a worry in the world. I was living the life of a kid again. I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN. It was more strssful being "relaxed" then it was when Im running about doing whatnot and whatever. I'm so used to doing X.Y,and Z that just standing still makes me sick. (oooh... HOOK is on :D :D :D) Speaking of getting older.. I really so like it. A LOT. Yea, bills suck and I cant go out. Ever. But gosh.. Highschool was such a lesson on how not to be responsible. Al and I have random conversations of what we used to do, and what we do now. Yes, we are boring. We don't go out... Neither of us drinks or does drugs. All we do is enjoy each others company, while smoking. LOL. I drink coffee and read books. Some days I'll get my nails and/or eyebrows done. The old judi would have hated me. Thought I wasnt doing all the things I'm "supposed" to be doing at my age. Yea I'm legal to do this that and the other thing. But I can also be tried a an adult. That's very uncool. I'm a lot calmer.. I dont react before I think. Well for the most part. I'm okay with just sitting at home. Eatting dinner and watching a movie. That's all the excitment I need. Shit I work at a mental health facility. I dont need anymore excitment. Hmmm.. what else about getting older. Well I started talking ot bestestestedest again. When you're young, you hold so many grudges. At least I did. I followed what people told me. Not what was in my heart. Once again.. we had so many memories. We missed so much in each others lives. Shit, she got narried. I found the man I'm going to marry, altho there were one of two in betweens.. No one understood me, or will understand me the way she does. We have to thank each other a lot for the way certain things turned out. Yea, we've had a bump here of there but we need each other. If certain people cant understand that, Fuck 'em. I guess it does bother me a lil that certain people in my life dont get along, but that's why Im gere. To patch it all up.
This entry is so random. Here.. then There.. It'll get better I promise.
gtg.. coffee's ll gone